Monday, August 20, 2007

A Little Soul by Pulp

Until very recently, I didn't want to have children. Not that I was afraid that they'd ruin my career, or that I was too young but might change my mind as I got older, or even anything about world population levels - I was afraid that I'd be a bad parent.

Yeah, I wish I could be an example.
Wish I could say I stood up for you and fought for what was right.
But I never did.

Specifically I didn't want to be the kind of parent my mother is. I still am afraid of that, and more; there are just so many ways to be a bad mother. And, if anything my fears have increased as I've gotten older; knowing myself as I do, and my inability to break bad habits. Like the protagonist in this song, you can be aware of the problem, but you might not be able to fix it; the behaviour perpetuates itself for the length of your life. Is there anything scarier?

You think I'm joking?
Well, try me. Yeah, try me. Yeah come on, try me tonight.
I did what was wrong though I knew what was right.
I've got no wisdom that I want to pass on.
Just don't hang 'round here, no, I'm telling you son.
You don't wanna know me...


Ernesto said...

I love this song, and I loved your post. Thank you.

Ernesto Sandoval said...

this song works for me in so many levels. i agree, thank you