Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Poster of a Girl, by Metric

I played tennis on a grass lawn in Jesus Green yesterday. Doubles with Yanna, Mike and Nichol.

Didn't get much sleep last night. I cried myself awake and listened to Fobia for a while. Yo no soy buen perdedor.

Then I decided to go do some maths, as ever an efficient escape.

Dawn was just breaking and the air was crisp.

I got to my office and started pottering about. Maybe reading a bit and stumbled on two hundred bars.

Had way too much tequila last night, followed by pints and pints and then some more alcohol. When I got back to mine I had a wee night cap too.

I first invited Nichol to come play football with my friends because she was too stressed and didn't even leave her room, always studying for Part III exams.

Her room overlooks a street lined with pubs. Every night rambling drunks shout and sing just outside her window.

Sitting there all these months, toiling away.

She has been so far the only person that has moved me to tears over the last three years. My heart trembles when I see her still.

I've missed her from five different countries and a couple of continents.

But she does not want me.

Even went as far as driving back from Geneva to pick her up from Heathrow.
It didn't impress her much.

She said she had a crush on Mike a couple of days ago.

Throughout the entire year I had been pestering her for attention. Calling her too many times a day and caving in to her ridiculous vegan diet.

I introduced her to Mike, effectively, and never thought I would lose her like that.

Obsession does not even begin to describe my last 8 months. We met on the 2nd of October and I've spent so much time thinking about her since, sorry, lost so much time.

Mike sent me an email yesterday. It said he and Nichol were together. I could see it coming. But just as a train rushing towards me, it is hard to get off the tracks once its close.

Nichol had her last exam yesterday. I had been waiting for this day for 8 months, she was always too busy solving example sheets.

Mike was in his office and Nichol went to see him just after she finished her last exam. I tried playing it cool. Instead of licking my wounds I thought I was above it.

So we decided to play tennis, and for a couple of hours I played my best part yet. My inner thesp was proud. Me, not so much. Ever sprayed lime on your open bleeding flesh?

She was trying to be nice, and in doing so lied to me.

Now I feel like an imbecile.
She was my poster of a girl.

by Pablo.

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